Every year for the last twenty years or so (with the exception of one during Covid, which we celebrated virtually as best we could), my family has hosted a three-day family Christmas celebration in our home. When I say three days, I’m talking Friday afternoon through Sunday evening. This joyous event includes two sleeps in a packed house, and a whole lot of festive fun, food, and fellowship. Our extended family (and whomever they’d like to bring along) who haven’t seen one another for awhile, gather together to enjoy everything from goodies and games, to caroling and crafts. At times, Family Christmas can be a bit of a free-for-all, and over the years it’s sometimes felt as though we were cleaning up round one just to turn around and set up for round two, with no time to enjoy (or even breathe, for that matter).
When many of the children were young, this tradition became very overwhelming. It was after one such chaotic gathering during those early years that my husband and I sat down to do what I like to call a “perspective check”. After much discussion, we pinpointed that we needed to decide what was more important to us: a neat and clean house, or precious time with the people we love. It would seem that such a decision should be a no-brainer; but, lo and behold, we discovered it was more than that. We needed to completely let go of the one to fully embrace the other.
And so we did just that.
We decided that we would do just enough to facilitate the smooth running of the event (which by the way, never runs “smoothly”—how could it, with so many people in the mix) and intentionally turn our focus toward enjoying time with our loved ones. I can honestly say that this was one of the best decisions we have ever made, because it freed us from self-imposed shackles. No one asked for perfection, and quite frankly, how could that even be obtained with twenty to thirty wonderful, loud, loving, and crazy human beings camped-out together in one home for a long weekend? It all came down to our chosen perspective, which allows us to more fully experience joy.
I am now mid prep for Family Christmas 2023 coming up this weekend (the current attendance tally is 32 and growing). I remind myself to apply the above perspective to all my preparation for the event as well. Making lasagnas, egg casseroles, and three different types of chili for thirty people is a tall order, but for me it’s a labor of love. My “perspective check” rendered laborious tasks joyful, which in turn has fostered a delicious sense of anticipation for the beautiful time I will get to share with my family.
As I cook, I am greatly encouraged by a story that my son shared with me just this past year. My daughter in law was feeling under the weather and commented on how much she would love some lasagna. When my son offered to go out to get her some, she clarified that she only wanted my lasagna because it was made with love. More recently, my daughter who also lives away from home, texted me a picture of a polished-off pan of lasagna I sent home with her after Thanksgiving, along with the note: “Thank you so much for the lasagna Mama!!! I’m getting sick and it’s the perfect comfort food :)” For me, that is what it’s all about. I won’t focus on how good everything tastes (although this is still a very important factor), but rather that I intentionally made it with love (okay, and a little extra ricotta).
This new perspective guides my writing endeavors as well—I am far more inclined to write continuously and, well… well! Am I meant to view my writing as a chore, or as a creative opportunity to share my words with others? Ultimately, my goal is to be a published author whose books positively affect young readers, but if I were to consider only the complete execution of this goal as a success, then I’m guessing I would’ve hit a dead end long ago. Instead, I am filled with excitement as I type every word (ok, maybe not every single word) of this holiday blog post, which isn’t necessarily directly tied to my primary passion for creative storytelling catered to youngsters. I am once again struck by the fact that life can feel richer than I could ever imagine depending upon the perspective through which I intentionally choose to view my efforts.
Well, it’s about time for me to cheerfully sign off! It’s now T-minus two days until festivities begin, and I still need to make a few pans of lasagna and write another chapter or two. I’ll catch you on the flip side with Part 2 of this blog, to be written post Family Christmas 2023. After all, it’s easier written than said!
Have a blessed Christmas and a joy-filled new year!
MJ Wallace 